Friday, November 29, 2013

Ten (Shopping) Survival Tips from the Turkeys

(This post is for Rita Henuber, who wanted me to post a "happy shopping" message today for her, as she is woefully without internet, and possibly out shopping. I offered to “stuff” something into this post about shopping, but couldn't resist adding some snark…)

Whew, it's over. You survived Thanksgiving. So, now what? 

Are you planning to brave the stores for Black Friday and maybe burn a few calories? I've collected some survival tips to keep us alive in the dark (shopping) days to come....

Top Ten (Shopping) Survival Tips from the Turkeys who survived yesterday:

  1. Don’t stick out your neck (or arm) too far. You might lose something. Those fellow shoppers can be vicious. They know how to use fowl play to their advantage.
  2. Pace yourself. You don’t want to fry yourself just as you get going. Especially after eating all of that…stuffing. Waddle more, hurry less.
  3. Stay hydrated. Baste yourself with some liquids now and then to keep from drying out. I, personally, like a Starbucks run in the middle of my shopping to fluff my feathers.
  4. Shake your tail feathers. Walking laps in the stores or along the downtown shops will help you burn calories. (Hooray!)
  5. Play nice, even if a fellow shopper is treating you like a turkey. (Mama always said this was the way to live.)
  6. Be thankful. For the little things. Like surviving.
  7. Make sure you have some leftover…money, that is. Don’t spend it all. (Besides, Valentine's Day is just around the corner.)
  8. Use the occasional alcohol wipe or wash your hands. They can kill a lot of salmonella germs, but all those other germs from other shoppers too. 'Tis flu season.
  9. Don’t forget the gravy. Everything’s better with gravy. In this case, I’m referring to that little something extra. Do something special for yourself while you’re out shopping for others. You deserve it.
  10. Do you really need a #10? Get moving before the farmer sees us hanging around flapping our beaks.

Of course, this post was done tongue in beak, and kind of on the "fly," so take each tip with a grain of salt...and maybe some pepper. Definitely some gravy.

Rita and I wish all of you out there a safe and stress-free weekend, and hope you're able to enjoy it with your families. Instead of risking the stores, stay home and kick your heels up and eat leftovers. And buy the latest books from your favorite authors online. 

And if you happen to be shopping for a writer this year (*hint, hint*), you may want to check out this list of great gifts for writers from the "Glass Half-Full in Hollywood" blog

Happy (and safe) shopping!

What gifts are you hunting this season? And what are you hoping to receive? How do you shop - are you a Black Friday adventurist, or a survivalist who holes up and waits for Cyber Monday? Or are you another type altogether, possibly done with your holiday shopping by July?


J Wachowski said...

You guys are hilarious.
I'm hiding out inside. With the leftover gravy & mashed potatoes.
Gobble, Gobble.

Marcelle Dubé said...

Funny post Anne Marie and Rita. We Canadians seem to have adopted Black Friday, too, and there isn't enough money in the world to entice me out there...

Anne Marie Becker said...

@ J. - I'm with you, actually. Well, mostly. I had to stop at a couple stores, just to see what the fuss is about. Kind of felt like a feeding frenzy.

@Marcelle - thanks. :) Sorry we've infected Canada, but there can be some amazing deals to be had, if you know what you're looking for. ;)

Wynter Daniels said...

Love the post. I am a cyber Monday girl. Can't wait for all those great deals I get without leaving the comfort of home!

Anne Marie Becker said...

@ Wynter, me too! I can't wait. Anything in particular you're looking for? ;)